Hello, I'm Johnny Cash.
It's rolling round the bend
Since I don't know when
Keeps a rollin'
My mama told me, "Son"
Don't ever play with guns"
Just to watch him die
That whistle blowin'
I got another 15.
Not today, you don't. You're up.
You know the deal.
Successfully complete the mission,
you get ten years off your sentence.
You fail to follow my orders in any way
and I detonate the explosive device
Good dog.
We are a black ops unit.
Meaning, nothing you see here ever happened.
Savant.
Your commanding officer
Or would you rather be called Durlin?
I'd rather not be called at all.
But I'll do anything to get out of this hellhole.
Well, welcome to "anything."
So this is the famous Suicide Squad.
Well, we consider that term degrading.
The official term is "Task Force X."
And love 'em or hate 'em,
these are your brothers and sisters for the next few days.
Oh!
Whoa.
Captain Boomerang.
Blackguard.
Mongal.
Javelin.
T.D.K.
Weasel.
And, of course...
Hey, guys, sorry I'm late. Had to go number two.
Hmm, good to know.
Flag.
Oh, sorry. Comin' through.
Hey, Boomer.
What are you doing back in prison, Harls?
I got road rage. In a bank.
-Oh. So sorry. Comin' through.
-Turn it around. There. No. -There? Here?
Put it in there. Now you're safe.
All right.
Thanks, man.
Prepare for liftoff. And away we go.
Harley and T.D.K... - Digger.
...have they worked together before?
Not yet. I'm excited.
What does Savant do again?
It's Brian Durlin.
He's an expert in weapons and hand-to-hand combat.
Yeah, well, I'm putting 20 on him that he's gonna bite it.
Me too. And Weasel,
-Boomer and Mongal. - Yeah, I think...
Is Mongal an alien or some type of god?
-What are you doing? -Oh. Hey.
Just making sure everything was ready to go.
Good meeting, everybody.
Just our normal, casual morning meeting.
Yeah, I just gotta, uh, do this thing.
Nothing weird about it.
Okay. - Oh, yeah.
Flag.
Yeah, we're T-minus five from the drop.
Get the whole team safely
to that beach, Colonel.
You will receive further orders once there.
-
We're in a butcher's freezer, Harls,
surrounded by dead hogs hangin' on hooks.
Only they don't know it yet.
Leave him alone, Boomer.
What does T.D.K. stand for?
What?
Your name is T.D.K., correct?
Yeah.
And it stands for what?
It stands for me.
It's what a name is.
Your name is letters?
All names are letters, dickhead.
I love your accent.
American women all love accents.
We do. 'Cause we don't got none.
-Yo, is this a dog? -What?
Is this thing a dog?
-A... A dog? -Yes.
What kind of dog do you think it is, mate?
I don't know, I'm not familiar with all the breeds.
I'm gonna go with Afghan Hound.
Since when does an Afghan Hound have bloody thumbs?
Oh, my God, is it a werewolf?
I've wanted to meet a werewolf forever.
Yo, they sat me next to a werewolf?
That's not right.
Yo, let me out. I do not fuck with werewolves.
Hey, hey, he's not a werewolf, okay!
He's a weasel. He's harmless.
I mean, he's not harmless, he's killed 27 children,
but, you know, we got him to...
I think he's agreed to do this.
Whatever the case,
just everyone get into position to drop.
Did anyone check on whether Weasel could swim?
The Weasel is dead! I repeat,
-the Weasel is dead. -
Northeast, all clear. Approach the shore.
Over.
Savant, hold your position.
Roger that.
Amateurs.
Waller, we're on the beach and dry.
-Blackguard. Get down, you... -Hey, guys! Hey.
...there's fucking soldiers everywhere!
You can come out now, it's just me.
What the fuck is Blackguard doin'?
I'm the one who contacted you.
Is this what's supposed to happen? What the fuck?
Blackguard, get back into your position.
Look, look. I brought everybody, look.
They're right behind me.
Whoa. Hey.
Hey, guys. Whoa.
We got a deal, right? Uh... Uh...
Waller, we're made.
I'm the one who called you.
Blackguard sold us out.
He contacted the fucking Corto Maltese Army!
Waller, we need to retreat.
Negative, Flag.
The mission is too important.
This is a tough group.
-You can make it. -Okey-doke.
Waller, with all due respect, we're in the middle
of a goddamn... Harley, wait!
Whoo-hoo!
Zero-two-two-seven is wide open.
Colonel, dispatch
-The Detachable Kid. -T.D.K., two o'clock!
T.D.K. is "The Detachable Kid"?
-
What the fuck?
I didn't pick the damn team!
Don't worry, Flag, I got the bird.
-Mongal! Don't. -
-Huh? -
Strewth!
Boomer!
Savant is off the rails.
Savant, turn back.
-Savant. -
Savant, I'm warning you, this is desertion.
Savant!
This is your last chance. Turn back around.
You are in violation of your agreement!
Oh, please! No.
-
Damn it.
How's Team Two holding up?
Team Two, check. Set point bravo.
All troops on the south beach are engaged.
Team Two is clear to go on the north beach.
Congratulations, Bloodsport.
How'd you do it, Waller?
There's no soldiers out here on patrol at all.
Let's just say they were distracted.
He was twelve years old
On East Two-nine
When she pulled the plug
Fourteen years old
When he died
Who died, died
And just died
Let their gimmicks go rotten
In upper Manhattan
Bullet in the head
On the night that he was wed
Two more friends of mine
Who died, died
And they died
From a hotel room
From a cell in The Tombs
In the jugular vein
More than all the others
Who died, died
For the road
To wear that heavy load
Of Baudelaire before
Oh, jeez.
Oh.
Here you go, champ.
Excuse me.
Who the fuck is Bloodsport?
Robert DuBois.
A world-class marksman.
In his hands, anything is a deadly weapon.
His father was a mercenary
who trained his son to kill from the moment he was born.
He's in prison for putting Superman in the ICU
with a kryptonite bullet.
-DuBois? -Same answer as the last time.
Piss off.
I'm not joining your goddamn Suicide Squad.
We'll see.
You have a visitor.
They said you got in trouble.
I stole.
You stole what?
-A style watch. -A star latch?
A style watch. You can watch TV on it.
Why would you want to watch TV on your watch?
I don't know.
Next time you want to nick something,
you take a partner,
and they can be your lookout.
That's your advice?
Yeah.
You're a terrible father.
Hey, I didn't ask to be a father
You make that perfectly clear.
Your mother sprung that one on me.
Well, she's not around anymore,
so you can lay off of her, okay?
Oh, I tried to lay off her,
but then she dragged out the paternity test.
-Fuck you! -No, fuck you!
-Fuck you! -Fuck you!
Fuck you!
I can't believe you don't care that I stole,
only that I got caught!
I don't only care that you got caught,
I care that you got caught for stealing
something as stupid as a fucking TV watch!
It does other things too!
But nothing that your phone can't fucking do!
It's embarrassing!
No, what's fucking embarrassing
is having you as my father.
Yeah, well, I told you, Tyla,
when I came here that any goodness
I ever had in me had been wrung out bare by my old man.
And I also told you to go out there and do your own thing
and stay far away
from me or anyone like me, didn't I?
So, why are you here when you and I both know
I have nothing good to offer you?
Because my court date is coming up,
and Miss Waller said maybe you could help me out.
To get me to lead your shite fucking mission,
you're gonna send my 14-year-old daughter
No.
Your daughter is 16, DuBois.
You're a real father of the year.
Fine. You know what, Tyla needs to grow up anyway
'cause she's a little ditzy like her fucking mother.
So, a year in juvie, no fucking problem.
Not juvie. Being 16 in the state of Louisiana
means that under the right circumstances,
she could be tried as an adult.
And, if convicted,
could be sent right here to old Belle Reve.
And in here, well, you never know what might happen
to a frail young thing like that.
Shames me to say
that we have the highest mortality rate
in the entire U.S. prison system.
Whoa, hey, hey, hey!
You're threatening my fucking daughter!
I'm protecting this country.
-Everyone stand down. -Miss Waller, I...
Stand down!
I wouldn't take such extreme measures...
Oh, extreme? Oh, yeah, a little extreme.
...if this mission weren't more important
than you could possibly imagine.
Fuck your mission.
You have the military experience necessary,
and everything in your psychological profile tells me
you have what it takes to be a leader.
No, I'm no fucking leader!
Then I'll make you one.
Are you in or out?
Good. Let's meet your team.
-Come on. -Fuck me, man.
Let's go.
She was gonna kill his kid?
Each member of the team is chosen
for his or her own completely unique set of abilities.
This is Christopher Smith, known as Peacemaker.
In his hands, anything is a deadly weapon.
His father was a soldier who trained his son
how to kill from the moment he was born.
-Are you having a laugh? -What?
You just said each member of the team is chosen
for their unique abilities. He does exactly what I do.
But better.
I always hit my targets dead center.
I hit them more in the center.
Well, you can't hit something more in a center.
-I use smaller bullets. -What?
They go inside your bullet holes
without even touching the side.
Next up is King Shark.
Holy shit.
What the fuck?
Some people claim
that Nanaue is a descendant of an ancient shark god.
Whatever the case, he's strong and deadly.
Does it talk?
Book read. -
Book's upside-down.
See that? It's pretending to read a book.
So smart, me. Enjoy book so much.
Be a mite careful,
as he's developed a taste for human meat.
Huh?
Next, we have Cleo Cazo,
-Ratcatcher 2. -
-Settle down!
Ooh.
What, we couldn't afford Ratcatcher 1?
He's dead. This is his daughter.
Cazo, will you be joining us?
I just woke up.
I don't function well early in the morning.
My deepest apologies for disturbing you.
Hmm, it's all right.
-Get your ass out here! -
Millennials.
Oh, no way.
-That's not coming with us. -She controls rats.
I know, I caught that. It's a disgusting superpower.
This is Sebastian. Say hello, Sebastian.
I'm not shakin' the rat's hand.
And finally, we have Abner Krill.
What's that 'round his neck?
A power dampener.
They call him the Polka Dot Man.
Polka Dot Man.
What's he do, throw polka dots at people?
He does.
He throws polka dots at people.
Hey, Polka Dot Man,
I was hoping you'd entertain my kid's birthday party.
You fucking pussy!
-These are soldiers?
We need to debrief.
Fuck.
Corto Maltese
is a small island nation off the coast of South America.
Over the past 100 years,
the country has been ruled with an iron fist
by the Herrera family.
But, a week ago, this guy,
General Silvio Luna, along with his right-hand man,
Mayor General Mateo Suarez,
took control of the Corto Maltese government
in a violent military coup.
The entire Herrera family were hanged in a public execution.
Although the United States did not condone
the excesses of the Herrera regime,
they were non-antagonistic toward the U.S.
Luna, however, is virulently anti-American.
So, you want us to kill Luna?
No.
This is Jotunheim.
A scientific experimentation facility
containing something known only as Project Starfish.
Our intelligence sources tell us
that Starfish is extraterrestrial in origin.
In the hands of the Luna regime,
it is potentially cataclysmic for Americans and the world.
Your mission is to infiltrate Jotunheim
and destroy every trace of Project Starfish.
How are we supposed to get in?
Gaius Grieves, the Thinker,
is a geneticist in charge of Project Starfish.
After hours, he hangs out at a gentlemen's club
known as La Gatita Amable.
Get Grieves to help you by whatever means necessary
and he can get you into Jotunheim.
Any questions?
What is that?
That is an overhead projector.
Do you ever use it anymore?
No, not really.
So, why don't you just throw it away?
Peacemaker?
Starfish is a slang term for a butthole.
Think there's any connection?
No.
No...
Nanaue.
...connection.
Hand.
Yes, that is your hand, Nanaue, very good.
We're all gonna die.
I hope so.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Control, we have a disturbance south of here.
It's just a diversion, Bloodsport.
All right, we cut through the jungle
Don't they have blockades at the city limits?
That's the word.
How we getting in? Especially with Charlie the Tuna here.
How the hell am I supposed to know?
You're the leader.
You're supposed to be decisive.
And I've decided that you should eat
a big bag of dicks, how's that?
You're being facetious, but if this whole beach
was completely covered in dicks
and somebody said I had to eat
every dick until the beach was clean for liberty,
I would say no problemo.
Why would someone put penises all over the beach?
Who knows why madmen do what they do?
Well, you know what I think?
I think liberty is just your excuse
to do whatever you want.
Whether that's to eat a beach full of dicks or killin' folk.
Oh, yeah?
At least I don't kill men for money like you.
Oh, here we go.
There's something wrong with your skin.
It's just a rash.
That's a rash?
-
Oh, no.
You...
are the only one...
fit to carry my javelin.
Carry it for...
Carry it for who?
For what? What the heck?
Who am I supposed to carry it for?
This is so frustratin'.
He just told me I have to carry this javelin
for a reason, but he didn't say why!
Waller? Waller. Waller!
All right, we'll camp here,
and tomorrow we'll go straight through to the city
to get to La Gatita Amable by nightfall.
-
What?
How deep of a sleeper are you?
I was having the most wonderful dream.
If it was you about to be eaten by King Shark,
then you're psychic.
I don't believe he would do that.
He has very kind eyes.
Hungry.
You bastard!
- Uh...
All right, calm down with the rats!
-What? -I have a thing with rats.
-You have a thing with rats? -Yes.
-And you're on a team with me? -Not something I asked for!
What are you laughing at me for, man?
Why the fuck are you in your underwear?
Tighty-whities? Really?
-Now, that's just racist. - No.
It's not racist.
-They're tighty-whities. - Oh, come the fuck on.
Bloodsport's got a rat phobia.
-What? -
You didn't tell me
you had a fear of rats, DuBois?
I'm an assassin! Why would I share my liabilities?
For fuck's sake.
Aw. He's offering you a pretty leaf
to show you he means no harm.
Why the fuck would I want a leaf?
Just get the rats out of here!
-Oh, fuck's sake. -Huh. Cool.
Hey, we gonna kill Megalodouche now, or what?
Nanaue's the strongest member of your team.
You need him to get into Jotunheim.
Yeah, well, we can't function as a team
if we gotta watch our back
from one of our own eatin' our bollocks.
Nanaue, would you eat your friends?
I no friends.
You have no friends?
If you did, would you eat them?
Yes.
No?
Then, can we be your friends?
Come on.
He's obviously lying.
If I die 'cause I gambled on love,
it will be a worthy death.
Friends.
You are a little idiot.
-
Oh, my God! Oh, my God. I'm good at my job.
I found him.
Check it out.
Look, right here, a mile north.
Task Force X,
you have an additional mission directive.
We've located Colonel Rick Flag.
He's been taken by the enemy.
Rick Flag?
I know, you both served
on special forces in Qurac that took down Avral Kaddam.
Flag was the one who initially recommended you.
You had other operatives
and didn't tell us?
There was no tactical advantage, now there is.
I've uploaded the location on your MTS.
Terminate his captors with extreme prejudice.
Kill anyone you see. These are dangerous people.
Recover Flag before moving on to the city.
-
That's where they're holding Flag.
Nothing like a bloodbath to start the day.
They call you Peacemaker?
I cherish peace with all my heart.
I don't care how many men, women,
and children I need to kill to get it.
I thought you were the crazy one.
I am.
All right.
Let's get it.
Boss.
Gracias.
-
No, no, no!
-
Hmm?
Non-lethal.
You lose.
Exploding compression bullets.
-
No one likes a show-off.
Unless what they're showing off is dope as fuck.
Fuck. That's true.
He does throw polka dots at people.
I'm sorry it's so... flamboyant.
It looks cool. I think.
I don't like to kill people,
but if I pretend they're my mom, it's easy.
T.M.I., mate.
DuBois?
Hey, Flag.
What the hell are you doing here?
Waller told us that you were...
Uh...
Are you drinkin' tea?
This is Sol Soria,
she's the leader of the freedom fighters,
the resistance trying to take down the current government.
They saved my life.
Oh, wow.
Why did my people not alert me of your arrival?
We didn't see any people.
Yeah, I didn't see anybody on the way...
There's no one out there.
They were gone when we got here.
I turned them into my mother in my head and killed them.
Typical Americans. Just run in, guns blazing.
I know, this is messed up.
-These guys, they're... -What's this one do?
They're fucking idiots,
but right now our objectives align with yours.
If Jotunheim contains the technology
our intelligence says it does,
then it could be used on the people of Corto Maltese
as well as Americans.
That's why we need your help
to get into the city so we can stop 'em.
Is that rat waving at me?
It appears it is.
Why?
I'm gonna guess because it's friendly.
Luna and Suarez murdered my entire family.
I'd make a deal with the Devil to stop them.
Your people will have our help getting to Valle Del Mar
to apprehend this Gaius Grieves.
Hey.
-What is this? -You slaughtered my staff!
They were loyal to the Herreras.
Who are you loyal to, Thinker?
They call you "Thinker," yes?
All that shit in your face is to make your brain good?
Yes, makes my brain good.
Are you being sarcastic with me?
Hey! Hey.
I shall do to you as we did to your employees.
Hey. Mateo!
What is this?
Project Starfish.
It's been the primary focus of my experiments here
for the past 30 years.
Here. What... What is it doing here?
Oh!
It is having little babies.
Not progeny,
extensions of itself.
They take hosts,
and those hosts in turn become part of the central being.
It feeds on their consciousnesses.
Grows larger, more powerful.
So...
where is this Project Starfish now?
Marvelous idea, Presidente.
But as I've noted,
I've been working with the beast for 30 years.
And there's no one but me capable of controlling it.
Well, then...
welcome to the team.
Si, Camila.
Presidente.
You are making a big mistake
throwing me down here!
I will be outta here soon enough
and I will kill every last one of you,
Colto Maltese-tezios. Maltese-els.
Malte-multoids. Colt-a-mults?
Whatever you Mario Kart-racing d-bags are called!
Please.
Put this on.
Oh, wow.
I'm a princess.
Senorita Quinn,
on behalf of the entire staff of Our Honorable General
Presidente Silvio Eleuterio Luna,
it's a pleasure to serve you.
Gracias.
My mother said to count back again.
Ten, nine,
eight, seven, six,
five, four, three,
two, one. Ha! Coronel, beat that...
Oh.
Forgive my appearance, Senorita Quinn.
I have admired you from afar
for many years now.
Senorita.
Me?
You're a hero to me, as well as to my people.
I think you might got me confused.
Harley Quinn's fire and rebellion
in the face of American oppression
is something to which my entire country aspires.
Oh.
I have prepared lunch.
Would you be so kind as to join me?
I'm so kind, sure.
You're not lonely?
To come and go
Oh, my, you caught my eye
Just irresistible
You're not lonely?
You want me to what?
To marry me.
You're joshing.
Might I be frank, Harley?
You might be.
Good, listen.
Since I took control, the majority love me.
But some find me to be
an unacceptable leader.
What kinds of dicks would find that?
Don't they know how awesome you are?
Have you shown them the birdies?
It may sound archaic
to someone from your part of the world,
but my people, the Corto Malteseans,
they're very old-fashioned.
Corto Malteseans, of course.
And I am a bachelor.
So they want you to get hitched?
My people say you would make the perfect wife.
Because, you know,
you symbolize anti-American fervor.
Oh.
But I am a romantic, Harley.
I agreed to meet with you just to appease them.
However, upon spending the day with you,
I find myself hardly able to think straight.
-You are perfect in every... -You are so freaking hot.
Just irresistible
Harley Luna.
I like the ring of that.
That's Jotunheim?
Nazis came here seeking asylum after World War II.
They built Jotunheim to continue
their unorthodox experiments.
Until the Herrera family accepted the bounty
and killed them all.
Wowza.
Many years ago, the rumors began of a beast.
These dark rumors helped the Herrera family
They would send their political enemies
and their families to the fortress,
never to return.
I have recently learned
these were not rumors.
They were murdering thousands
in bizarre experiments with this creature.
Well, it must be a big relief
to got it in your hands now, huh?
Absolutely.
Now, it is our enemies who shall be fearful.
If anyone dares to say a negative word
about their new president today,
their parents, their children, and anyone they ever loved
will be sent to Jotunheim to feed the beast.
I'm sorry.
Recently, I made a promise to myself
that the next time I got a boyfriend,
I'd be on the lookout for red flags.
And if I saw any,
I would do the healthy thing
and I would murder him.
And killing kids?
Kind of a red flag.
I know, I know.
I know what you're tryin' to say.
"Harley, why not just leave?"
And I'd say, "Why are you screaming at me?
"I'm not deaf. I'm standing right here."
And then I'd say,
"When your taste in men is as bad as mine,
they don't just go away quietly.
"They slash your tires and they kill your dogs and
tell you that the music you like
ain't real music at all."
And all the cruelty...
...tears you apart after a while.
You were real pretty and all,
and R.I.P. to that absolutely beautiful monster
between your legs, but...
all in all...
I think you're more pretty like this,
with all those rotten thoughts emptied from your head.
I can't believe this thing had a bullet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it.
-
What the hell are you doin'?
We're tired, Colonel. We need a rest.
Goddamn hobbyists.
We cannot stop.
We need to hurry if you're going to help my people.
Hey. We're not here to help your people.
But she's right, we gotta keep moving.
I carry friend?
It's okay, Nanaue.
It's happening to his face again.
-It's nothing, I slipped. -Hey...
Norman Bates, if that shit's contagious, we need to know.
What is it? -It's a...
It's an interdimensional virus.
Fuck is that?
My mother was a scientist at S.T.A.R. Labs,
and she was obsessed with turning me
and my brothers and sisters into superheroes.
She infected me.
Now, if I don't, you know, expel the dots twice a day...
Then what?
They'll eat me alive.
What happened to your brothers and sisters?
Some lived.
Some...
died.
And your mom, where is she now?
Everywhere.
Okay. Let's move out.
Come on, we must hurry,
or we'll be late to meet my contact.
Saying something
They pay you well
Sailing men to...
-
-Nom, nom! -
Are you Milton?
Si.
Milton will drive you through town
and to La Gatita Amable.
There are clothes in the boxes for all of you
so you can blend in.
That said, the walking tiburon
is gonna have to stay out of sight.
I wear disguise.
Oh, you're going to wear a disguise.
Si.
Hey, he's learnin' Spanish.
And what kind of disguise?
-Fake mustache. -Oh.
Yeah, fake mustache isn't gonna cut it, mate.
There's gonna be a lot of soldiers watching Jotunheim.
If they discover us there...
Let's pray they do not, or you will all be dead.
If they do,
that'll leave the palace vulnerable.
Luna and the other generals
will be left without protection.
You're a good man, Colonel Flag.
You still look exactly like yourself.
That's the worst fake mustache I've ever seen.
And if you had fooled us, we'd have to kill you,
shark-shaped bloke with a moustache
creeping up on us like that.
-You, you. -
Aw.
He always wants to be near you.
I think he senses good in you.
Yeah, there's no good in me.
Damn.
Supposed to play golf with Senator Cray this weekend.
-I'm gonna look a fool. -
Waller, come in.
Ugh.
You missed.
Waller, do you copy?
We're losing connection.
Waller.
Fuck's sake.
Task Force X. -Waller.
You there?
The military must have put
signal jammers around the city.
Your comms are down,
but we can still activate the bombs,
not to mention what will happen to your daughter.
So, no funny business.
Do you copy, DuBois?
Copy.
Fuck you!
Hey, uh, all that stuff about his daughter,
you wouldn't really do that, right?
You don't know half of what I would do, John.
What?
Why are you so afraid of rats?
Why are you so in love with them, Ratcatcher 2?
You know what I think?
I think you have a serious case of daddy issues.
I have no issues with how much I loved my father.
Although he was a genius...
we lived homeless in the streets of Portugal
burdens.
He built the machines I employ today...
...and taught me the secrets of calling the rats.
They brought us trinkets to live on.
And they kept us warm at night,
when we would have frozen.
-But eventually... - Papa.
Papa, wake up.
...my father's burdens
became too heavy to carry.
No.
No, Papa.
-And he was gone. -Papa, wake up.
I took his machinery and came to America.
That is the dream, right?
But I was arrested
for armed bank robbery, do you believe it?
The state considered the rats a weapon.
What?
You remind me of my daughter,
the reason I'm here.
Why are you so afraid of rats?
My old man.
When I was a lad,
if I didn't finish a task right,
he would dole out the punishment.
And one day, he just locked me in a crate for 24 hours.
And it was full of starvin' rats.
As imperfect my father was...
he loved me.
I wish I could give that to you.
Don't you worry, yeah?
I'm gonna get you out of here alive.
I'm going to get you out of here alive.
Senores, this is the place.
[alternative hip-hop music playing]
Slipping back
Carsick on a Tuesday
Heartless in a few ways
Elbows shredded
Like too late...
So, when's this Thinker guy supposed to be here?
Supposed to be in the next few hours.
Looks like we gotta find something to do
to pass the time. Uh, miss?
How about some, uh...
What do you guys drink around here, Fernet?
How about a round of Fernets for the table.
-Comprende? -Si.
Hey, Pissmaker, we're on a mission.
Easy, Inspector Gadget.
A little drink never hurt nobody.
Except for the thousands of people
killed in drunk driving accidents every year.
Come on, DuBois, this could be our last drink.
Gracias.
Just one.
-You're gonna be that guy? -I'm gonna be that guy.
Hey, chica.
Forgot the rat.
Here's to being alive in three hours.
I'll be alive. You speak for yourself.
-
There you go, there you go.
Don't give any more to Polka!
I hope I stay awake
Running, running all day
Everybody's eyes on me
I hope I stay awake
Running, running all day
Everybody's eyes on me
Go. Go.
[hip-hop music playing on speaker]
That is a gun.
So, smile.
We're old mates who are gonna take a trip to Jotunheim.
Yup.
Even with my help, you think you can get into Jotunheim?
Well, if we can't, I've got a Great White
out back that's looking for some chum.
Now, come on.
All right, nice and easy.
Oh, fuck.
-
No, no, no!
-
All right...
Take him out through the back, all right.
Find my coordinates in the pad and meet me in half an hour.
-What? -Hey, did you hear what I said?
-Yes, but... -Go.
Let's go.
-
There's no need to disturb everyone's night.
I'm right here, I'm the one you're looking for.
Yep, us too. We're his American companions.
What?
Ow!
-Come on. Go. - He...
Oh, God.
-Move it! -
Come on!
Hey!
-
Your equipment
manipulates animal behavior, clever.
I'm working on something similar with humans.
Be quiet, please.
You are perceivably panicked.
I'm guessing that you are not the alphas of this battalion.
Do you want a dozen angry rodents crawling up your ass?
My answer might not be what you expect.
Go, go!
The rain sometimes
The roses bloom...
I'm sorry for you.
But soon you will all be joining
your deranged compatriot, Harley Quinn.
Is Harley alive?
Not for long.
Mayor General Suarez can be rather harsh
when extracting information.
Dim mak.
That's the Cantonese term for it.
In Japan, it's kyoshu jitsu.
In English, it's simply the Death Touch,
how to kill a man with a single blow.
Of course it's possible
to kill a man with a single blow.
But it's a matter of chance,
and cannot be wielded with certainty.
-That's what they say. -They?
-Amateurs. -On one?
One.
I don't smoke.
The rain sometimes
-
All right.
Let's go to Jotunheim.
Nope.
There's somethin' we gotta take care of first.
What?
No...
I will ask again.
How many meta-power teammates
arrived with you to Corto Maltese?
Sixty-nine.
Sixty-nine?
How could you get 69 troops into the...
-
Come and rescue me...
You gotta be kiddin' me.
You're gonna risk the entire mission
for a mental defective dressed as a court jester.
This coming from a guy that wears a toilet seat
We don't leave one of our own behind.
You're okay with this?
No, but I've been around Flag when he's got a rag
-Best not to tug it. -Motherfucker!
Hey, wake up, wake up.
All right, let's go.
All right, we'll enter through the third floor,
go to the inner staircase, and then down to the cellar
where they usually keep their detainees.
Hopefully, Harley's still alive.
It's not a toilet seat, it's a beacon of freedom!
-
Selling each romance
When youth will pass away
Say about me
I know they'll say
As life goes on without me
Everywhere I go...
Selling each romance
There's some heart betraying
When youth will pass away
They say about me
I know they'll say
As life goes on without me
All of the time
-
Nobody cares for me...
That cares for me...
Hola.
Um...
Ratatouille, what do you got?
Third floor hallway's clear.
Abner?
There doesn't seem to be any incoming traffic.
Bird.
Nanaue, stay off the comm.
Colonel, I got a clean shot on the only one in the office.
Just give the word.
Fire on three, two...
What are you guys doing?
I... You. We're here to save you.
You were gonna... save me?
It was a really good plan, too.
Well, I can go back inside, and you can still do it.
That's patronizing.
Yeah, no, it's not...
Uh, what's with the javelin?
I'm waitin' for God to tell me.
Jesus Christ. - Yeah.
Or Him. Or any of them, really.
Okay.
Are you two all right, yeah?
-I'm so sorry. -That's all right.
Harley Quinn.
Bloodsport.
All right, who ate all the fucking empanadas?
Mine were very good.
I had the chicken.
All right,
here's the deal. We fail the mission, you die.
We find out any information you give us is false, you die.
If we find out you have personalized license plates,
What? No.
If you mismatch blacks, you die.
No.
If you cough without covering your mouth...
Harley. Those last three aren't things.
Although, probably don't need to say this,
but that isn't an open invitation
for you to cough without covering your mouth.
All right, we're gonna need you to drive the minibus,
with all of us inside, past the guards at the front gate.
Once through the gate, we'll use you to get through
There are security cameras everywhere.
They're being dealt with.
We'll neutralize the soldiers there and enter.
Once we're inside, we separate into teams.
I am walking back and forth.
Okay. You're gonna lead me and Ratcatcher 2
I'm going with you 'cause I don't trust this guy.
No, no, no, you're coming with me.
Our munitions expertise are needed
starting at the first floor, going all the way to the top.
Once we're clear, we blow the tits off that thing,
and go home.
This is suicide.
Well, that's kind of our thing.
Yeah.
This is insane.
-
Must be a devil between us...
Yeah, no.
I love the rain.
It's like angels are splooging all over us.
It's good for cover.
Yep, that too.
-
-You son of a bit... -
Input the emergency code. Now!
Well, go on then!
Yo!
Okay, Pokey.
You get a bomb, you get a bomb.
Harley and I will meet you up
Yeah? All right.
God damn it, Nanaue.
No!
Quit bein' a play baby.
Peacemaker.
-It's actually very nice. -
Just put it against the wall.
It looks nothin' like me.
Move. Move it.
This way.
-
Si.
Vamonos. Vamonos!
Good God.
If God existed,
wouldn't this be proof that he wasn't good at all?
What the hell is this?
I thought you were looking for Project Starfish.
You've brought us visitors, have you, Grieves?
Have you come to save me from that madman?
Thirty years he's kept me here.
Tortured me.
Had his way with me.
I call it Starro the Conqueror.
That's meant to be derisive.
Sorry, old chum.
These two are here to kill you.
It's out of my hands.
We need to help these people.
Impossible, dear. They're corpses below those stars.
Who are they?
The fodder of powerful men through every age.
Dissidents,
journalists,
political rivals,
and their loved ones.
Oh, please,
unclutch your fucking pearls, Flag.
We serve the same master.
We were sent here to stop you.
Child,
your government didn't send you here
to protect the world from alien technology.
Your government sent you here to cover up their part in it.
You're a goddamn liar.
American goddamn astronauts found Starro.
Yankee-fucking-doodle dandies.
Although the Cold War was ended,
your government saw the potential
in weaponizing such a powerful beast,
but banish the thought
of any such experiments being held on American soil.
Your people have always been squeamish
about the sacrifices necessary
for scientific advancement.
So,
the United States made a secret deal
with the Corto Maltese government
to conduct their illegal experiments here
in Jotunheim.
And they hired me to oversee them.
And now, because of
a run-of-the-mill fucking military coup,
they're gonna destroy 30 years' worth of efforts.
Yeah!
You're the real victim here.
The hell you doing here? You're supposed to be upstairs
I told you I didn't trust him.
Your records are located in those computers?
Colonel, what are you doing?
I joined the military to serve my country,
not to be its puppet.
What are you doing?
Who are you going to show that to?
The press. Goddamn people deserve to know.
I'm tired of coverin' up their dirty little secrets.
This time these sons of bitches
I can't let you do that, Colonel.
-Excuse me? -I'm truly sorry.
Miss Waller charged me with makin' sure
those records don't leave this building.
Of course, I shoulda known.
Waller's always got a backup.
Come on, man, this isn't personal.
Holdin' a gun on me is pretty fucking personal.
What is that?
I'm gonna need that drive, Colonel.
-
Those morons set off the explosives too early.
Hand over the drive!
-Let's go, come on! -
They experimented on children.
No one is sayin' what they did was right.
They experimented on children!
That information gets out,
it causes an international incident!
Keepin' the peace is worth any price,
including the life of a hero like yours, sir,
so please...
don't make me do this.
What have you people done?
Sebastian, come!
-
Okay, we gotta calm down.
Let's all just... Let's talk about this.
I understand where you're coming from.
I crossed a line.
Okay, I crossed a line!
I realize that, but I'm ready to change.
I am ready to change.
And I didn't mean to hurt you...
You motherfucker.
-
Peacemaker.
What a joke.
Cleo.
Give me back the drive.
I told you that information can't get out. Fuck!
So, okay, okay, destroy the hard drive.
-Why kill me? -
Because I'm thorough.
-Oh, my...
Sorry, kid.
No, no...
All right, troops are coming.
This floor, and then nine floors left. Let's go!
-Come on! -
New dumb friends.
Aw, fizzle sticks. Hold on.
Has anyone got eyes or ears on any more?
They killed Milton!
Milton was still with us?
-Where'd you think he was? - I don't know.
I thought he stayed back with the bus.
What was Milton gonna do?
He was helping us!
-Who's Milton? -What?
I don't remember any Milton.
Fuck! He has been with us the whole time.
Somebody named Milton has been with us
Yes!
I don't think so. I think I would've noticed
if a guy named Milton's been with us.
It's not a very common name.
I don't think I've ever even met Milton.
Are you messing around right now?
He was a really nice guy,
and he sacrificed himself to help us.
And now look at him.
He's dead.
Oh, that guy! Milton, Milton.
So, when did this great love affair with Milton start?
I liked him from the beginning, okay?
I just didn't say anything until...
No!
-
Harley! Give us a hand!
Hey!
Vamos. Vamos.
-
Oh!
-
Oh, fuck, fuck.
Oh, fuck off!
-Oh. -
Sorry, kid.
No, no, no.
Smaller bullets.
He killed Colonel Flag.
He wanted to share this with the press.
It's proof the American government
was behind Project Starfish the whole time.
-
Whoa. Whoa.
I think it's trying to get out.
-What? -Starro the...
Whoa.
Cover your faces!
-
Si.
-
-Whoa. -What the fuck is that?
Uh... Hey, guys?
Oh, shit, there's...
This city is mine.
Uh, Miss Waller, I think the feed is back up.
Oh, my God, Miss Waller!
We've got a freaking kaiju up in this shit!
-
Task force X, come in.
Are you there?
Uh-huh.
Whatever signal jammers
were blocking our communications
must have been in the building you just demolished.
Yeah, well, we've got a mite issue over here, Waller.
It's Project Starfish, Miss Waller.
It's headed towards the city, and I think it wants
to feed on as many people as it can.
Not our problem.
If you've destroyed Jotunheim and the records within,
you've achieved the objective.
Corto Maltese is no longer a U.S. ally.
If anything, the White House will consider
fomenting disruption in a hostile nation
a positive development.
You heard what she said.
Fuck.
Bloodsport is off mission.
What the...
She'll kill you, you know.
That's her business.
I knew Sebastian sensed good in you for a reason.
Just keep that fucking rat away from me.
Ratcatcher is also off mission.
Bloodsport, Ratcatcher,
turn around.
Nanaue!
I know what I'm carrying the javelin for.
Krill, turn around now!
Turn back now, God damn it!
-Open it. -Miss Waller...
Open it!
What are you doing, Task Force X?
-Fuck! -
Turn around now, God damn it!
You dumb pieces of shit!
Motherfuckers!
God damn it, Task Force X, this is your last
motherfucking warning!
-
Oh, my God! What the fuck did you do?
All those people, John.
Little kids.
Task Force X, the creature is headed to Calle Principal.
Avoid Avenida Medrano.
-There is a swarm of infected. - Jesus.
So, your clearest path is Calle Aguero.
Get on the satellite, Dale, you fucking dickhead!
Yes, ma'am.
Huh?
Harley, take the high ground!
Nanaue! Monster is nom nom!
Monster nom nom?
Yes!
Abner, do you see who that is?
Huh?
It's your mom!
I'm a superhero!
I'm a motherfucking super...
God!
No! No!
Oh, no...
This city
is mine!
This city isn't yours.
This city isn't ours.
This city is theirs.
Oh, hell.
Why rats, Papa?
Rats are the lowliest and most despised
of all creatures, my love.
If they have purpose,
so do we all.
I was happy,
floating, staring at the stars.
-
A group of escaped convicts
saved a city of millions
on the small island nation of Corto Maltese today.
That's my dad.
Because of these people,
Corto Maltese will have free democratic elections
for the first time in 90 years.
Viva Corto Maltese!
Viva Corto Maltese! Viva...
-That's my dad. -...Corto Maltese! Viva...
Yeah.
Oh, that's just a taste of what's on that drive.
I've uploaded it all to a secure server.
Now, if you kill any one of us,
or my daughter ever sees the inside of a prison,
it goes public.
If we all go free,
it never has to see the light of day.
I told you I'd make you a leader, DuBois.
You got a deal.
Nanaue.
Look, I know Flag wanted to give the drive to the press,
but we just saved a whole bloody city.
We can't have it all.
Flag was my friend.
Mine too.
And I haven't got many of those.
I could be your friend, Milton.
Not my name.
What?
What are you talkin' about? We just had a conversation
for, like, three hours about how your name is Milton.
Didn't.
Yes, we did.
No. Our ride's here.
-Hmm. -
Nom nom?
Really?
That is what you're thinkin' about right now?
No. That nom nom though.
No, it's not nom nom.
No!
About a fancy car
Me to you
About how far you are
Come through for you
Another birthday party
When we're older
Just a dream
To be loved by you
To be loved by you, by you
To be loved by you
In the sky again
To the diaphragm
And lie again, whoa
You're my nightmare
She don't fight fair
That you'd notice my despair
I don't care 'cause
The violence
They invite the silence
I need some guidance
Don't stand a chance
The upper hand
I'm a sick joke
And I can't cope
Poke with my kinfolk
I'm a sick joke
And I can't cope
'Cause it broke, whoo!
The upper hand
Said they found him in the rubble.
They were shocked his heart was still beating.
I wasn't certain how safe it was,
shipping him back here.
But, if anything, he's shown he's resilient.
It'll take some surgery,
but eventually we'll get him back up to speed.
You realize this is revenge, right?
Waller knows we double-crossed her,
and she's getting back at us
by saddling us with this douchebag.
Yep.
I heard he was sort of a hero down in Corto Maltese.
Oh, is that what you heard? Because not quite.
What do you guys want him for?
Just to save the fucking world, that's all.